Moron

I just found out that I hate being in love and not being in love back. Well, actually after what happened to me few years ago, I hate being in love, I supposed to stay on what my minds are made up from such a stupid-heartbreaking tragedy. I'm always the one that's in love.
Yeah, well, I don't think I'm ugly, or I'm actually just an idiot. But, that doesn't matter, love would always come up to me even when I won't.
The truth is, I'm just the moron here. They never love me, or just like me, but eh.. Why am I always thinking so fucking high that I forgot my own promise, my promise to not in love anymore.
I'm so tired.
I can't pretending not in love, when my heart saying that I'm in love.
I WON'T.
I won't in love, please........ especially when those guys are just laughing and seeing me as stupid fugly nerd girl.
AND the more importantly, when those guys are dating with someone else..
My life's horrible enough..
I don't know when'll the times for me to being in love back, cause I was never, ever loved back.

I'm so give up :)