Not going to fall on that 'Hole'

This time, today, a minute I think that I would actually have words for this 'confusion' time, I'm suffered inside.
My heart.. please don't be like this to me.
I know you all along, you've been inside of myself the moment my mom knew that she had me on her tummy,   but that's just a case of myself, you're not wrong, you're obviously not wrong, you'll always be the right one when I had fights with my minds, yes, you are. You know it right? Does you, the readers, know that I'm talking with my heart right now?
When I was a kid, I had that mini-diary in my pocket, I used to write whatever I see, how was my feelings that day, I never forgot to write the date, cause I'll looked the date when I'm read it again.
Wow, It's such a super long time, now that I'm growing up, the digital era is bumped me, long time ago, I still writing on my mini-diary, now, I should write what I'm feelings here. Kinda odd, but I still have my mini-diary.
What's my secret?
You can ask my mini-diary, they know the truth. They know myself, what I want, what happens to me, what's going on around me, they knew it at all. By 'they' that means I had 2 mini-diary, right?
SO YEAH.
To the point..
"I'm not in love.
I'm in love.
I'M NOT.
PLEASE, YOU ARE IN LOVE.
I'M BEGGING YOU.. PLEASE DO NOT IN LOVE.
..........well yeah, yes you are in love."

The conversations above is what my minds said vs. my head said.
My minds said that I'm in love.
My head said that I'm just curious.
and I'm so agree with my brain, for the first time of my life, my brains said the right things among all my organs (if only stomach can speak)
I'm just curious, on whether he's really in love with me, or just playing around me.
Boy, yeah, they're same... make you in love then leave you.
That's why, I locked my heart's door.
The problems here is that he has a girlfriend and yes, a super long time gf, A FREAKIN ONE YEAR TOGETHER!! its not a short-time......
You were just a shadow, fika... you were... :(
please.. just don't want to in love.



:(